Day 8 (or is it 7, on account of Friday's mishap?), whatever.

Today, I thought I'd say a little about Dairy. I've included Milk (organic) and Kefir (yogurt) in the first phase of my transition, because I found that it helps to coat my stomach, not only with mucus, but also with the added probiotics from the Kefir. These are two things that I need rather desperately, right now.

My body happens to need the mucus because of the fact that I have had chronic diarrhea for the past few years, (western medicine has failed to determine the culprit), so much of my natural mucus has been eliminated. I know this because I see it in the toilet, and also because I have a constant dry mouth and throat.

While there may be other things that might help to build mucus (seaweed being one of them); I found out not too long ago that the fat from milk helps to encourage the liver to produce bile. Since lack of bile is another medical issue that I have been struggling with (i.e., gallbladder issues; either I don't have one, it's atrophied, or it's inflamed), I feel that if there's any chance at all for this to be true, then I should give my liver what it needs.

I also feel that with the chronic diarrhea, I must surely need as many probiotics as I can get, so I am not necessarily cutting out Kefir, either. I do intend to set aside some time in the next weeks, though, and try to figure out a source for raw milk and some starter to enable me to make my own.

Having said that, I also DO intend to cut out most (if not all) dairy, over the course of the next few days.

I DO have leftover irish moss seaweed still soaking in water (from the holidays) and I just incorporated the healthiest batch of sprigs, into a gallon of nut milk that I finally got around to making. Along with a Tblsp. of lemon juice, this should stay fresh enough to get me through the next week, or so.

I also have organic non-gmo soy milk as a back-up, if need be, but I am also going to try and make my own soy-milk, sometime in the next few weeks. I know the hype about soy-milk, and I am not the least bit concerned about the build-up nasties that occur with consistent use of the stuff, as I will be switching back and forth, quite regularly, between soymilk, kefir, milk, and coconut milk.

Let's see.........is there anything else I wanted to talk about, today?...........I guess there's not too much.

Physically, I feel better then I did last week at this time. My walks and stretching are helping to release the constant phlegm in the back of my throat (which may or may not be, milk related, as I did have a pretty good cold a couple of weeks ago).  I did have a slight headache this a.m., and some dehydration, but all and all, I feel, on the whole, pretty clear and like my body is clearing itself out, some. I seem to remember my teenage years, constantly clearing phlegm from the back of my throat, in response to a cat allergy, so it does not concern me greatly. I think purging dairy short-term, will be a very good thing, tho, in helping it to continue to clear up. Adding in the seaweed will hopefully aid in keeping my mucus membranes lined sufficiently, so that I am not clearing/coughing/swallowing, all the time.

Other then that, I have begun the process of only pulpy liquids (in the form of smoothies) in which I integrate super green food powder, raw protein, milk-thistle powder, frozen fruit, fresh juice, flax seed oil, and clover sprouts. Along with the veggie/medicinal soup puree that I have at night (for dinner), I am feeling quite confident and in control. My stomach has started to grumble a lot less, and my detox symptoms are quite manageable. The best thing, though, is that I have stopped taking Oxy-powder, (a supplement with laxative like qualities), every single day (which is a necessity for me, when eating solids).

So, even though I am not feeling close to wanting to switch over to juices only, at this point in time, I am confident that I will know the right time to do so, and will be ready, willing and able, when that time arrives.

On that note, I am signing off with some food for thought (no pun intended), and that is that we are not all one size, so our diet and/or fasting processes, should not be, either. :)

This is Rara Avis, signing off from The House of Found Goods.

On making the transition to straight juicing.......

I thought a lot about this, this morning, while walking the dog. It led me to realize that transitions, for me, are the hardest things in life.

I say that because my own personal learning curve, throughout most of my life, has been fairly anxiety producing, as well as slowwww (it seems to me, anyway), despite the fact that people who observe me think I pick things up fairly quickly. If they only knew. lol.

I am not patient with the process, not at all. I want to know everything there is to know, about new things, in the first week, usually! Failing that, at least in the first month. :)

This seems to bleed over into most things, including exercise. I found exercise in my early 20's, and quickly realizing that it had numerous mental benefits, I began to explore many ways to get my "fix". I became a certified aerobics instructor (which was difficult for someone with no background in regular physical fitness). I next explored a more formal version of dance aerobics, (jazz), then step aerobics, which transgressed to running, which transgressed to  rollerblading, and finally, I found hiking, which has remained my hands-down favorite thing to do. :)

Where am I going with all this?

Well, in all of these ventures, the one thing I found to be true, was the transitioning process. With much hindsight, I have begun to realize that this was actually the hardest part to all of the things I have tried as "new" things, throughout my life. Taking baby steps, for me, is the ONLY way to do anything different or new. I have found that as a consistent theme in my various and sundry creations, and conversations with musicians over the years, has only verified it in the process of making music, as well.

With that in mind, I realized today, while walking, that I have approached fasting with this in mind (albeit subconsciously). I have broken up the process in my mind, to phase 1, phase 2, and phase 3.

Phase 1: I allow myself any type of fluid (even pulp), to include dairy, (for a couple reasons, one medical   and one practical, which I will expound upon, later), to include supplements, to include caffeine, to include smoothies, to include soup pulp, some small portions of liquid sweets, etc. etc.

Phase 2: Preparing sufficiently to begin phasing out dairy 3-4 times a week (but not hot soup pulp or essiac), and definitely phasing out caffeine (unless absolutely necessary in the form of green tea and mate), and most sweeteners (except royal jelly and bee pollen).

Phase 3: Straight juicing (to include teas, fruit, supergreens, etc.)

Who knows how long this will take, but I think it may take some going back and forth, between phases, for some weeks. After all, I think I probably quit smoking no less then 6-10 times, before it "stuck" as a new habit. I think fasting (weaning away from food), is probably just as potent in the withdrawal process as many other addictions, and I believe that it takes just as much mental/emotional/physical preparation.

So...........this is week 2, and I definitely feel more on top of things then I did last week, at this time. I have essiac made (and in the refrigerator), I have lots of herb tea blends, and a light therapy box, coming in the mail. I did use the thumper the other night, and made space and time to stretch today, which is ever so helpful. And now I am off to purchase some vegetables for soup broth and juicing.

A small aside: I am beginning to wonder (based on my dreams/sleep quality, of the last couple of nights) if the Sunfoods Cacao is NOT raw, like the reviews from various raw food chef's, have noted. My dreams are usually not quite that vivid, unless caffeine is involved (I have found out that heating cacao, changes the Thomabromines to Caffeine). It could also be, however, the lack of calories. This often happens to me in response to calorie reduction. Just in case it's the cacao, though, I am going to be ordering some from Essential Living Foods and giving it a test try, see if anything changes.

I will be reviewing my findings on Cacao, Dairy, and Raw/Pasteurized almonds, in a new post, so stay tuned!

For now, this is Rara Avis signing out from The House of Found Goods.

re: Day 7 is interesting so far.........

Not that I was counting especially, because I have left my challenge open-ended in duration.

I left it open, because really, it seems pointless to go back to eating solids, when they give me so much trouble, anyway. I can't think why I ever went off my other fast, in July, except that I was in too much pain (trying to get off the various nervine drugs), that I couldn't be bothered to stay in tune with the discipline it takes. I think, too, that I just missed food, especially sweet food.

I personally think that most of us do have a sweet tooth, and that many of us are genetically predisposed to having it, because of what I know about the biology of the brain. The brain uses sugar first and foremost. That is it's fuel. It cannot utilize other types of fuel, such as protein and fat, without the body converting it first, into sugar. It stands to reason, then, that a sugar craving is the first hurdle we will have to overcome, once we shave our calories in half (at least), by attempting to fast.

I think day 5 (Friday), when I had that sugar jones, it was because of this very fact. I also think that the brain will fight for supremacy, and if you don't heed it, you do so at your own risk. It doesn't seem to have mattered that I ate a bag of candy and a 1/2 cup of macadamia nuts, in terms of weight-loss, as I've lost 5 pounds already and it's not even been a whole week. Which indicates to me, that it was indeed, a severe lack of calories that I encountered on Friday night, and that my brain was definitely in charge of the scene.

No matter how much willpower one possesses, it does not come close to being enough, when the brain is involved. That's probably a very good thing. And since the whole topic of the brain is such a long-winded discussion, I won't have it here, but I will say that I believe that that is where meditation comes into the picture, and probably the only way to "settle" the brain down enough to get it with the program.

Of course, in order to meditate, I believe there not only needs to be a welcoming physical space set up for it, but also a good clear space in the mind, embracing the idea of it.

The perfect time to do so, then, is after I've vented physically, by walking the dog and stretching.

With that as a goal, I am cleaning again today, and hoping that with clean floors, and uncluttered physical spaces, it will enable my brain to follow suit, and find a way to be uncluttered, as well.

We'll see. :)

I did want to say a little about the fact that I am not limiting liquids in any way, shape or form. I believe this will help with the boredom factor (this is thanks to my friend Renee, on FB).

So, yes, I AM allowing dairy, (when and if I feel like it). I AM allowing caffeine in tea and coffee (when and if I feel like it), and I AM allowing some sweeteners (like honey and agave), when and if I feel like it.  And last, but not least, I am also allowing pulpy liquids (like kefir, rapplesauce, and raw protein shakes with superfood greens), when and if I feel like it.

A small word on dairy. A former nurse friend of mine and I, were discussing bile, and she looked in her Taber's Medical Dictionary, which indicated that the liver really, really, really, likes, the fat and sugar from dairy, in order to produce bile. Whether this is true or not (i would not be surprised to find that it's just one of many ways in which the dairy industry has infiltrated western medicine), I don't think I am going to rush to rule it out of my diet, especially in light of the fact that I am having issues with my gall-bladder. :) I will, however, be investigating ways in which to obtain non-gmo organic soybeans in the next few weeks, enabling me to start making my own soy milk, to have in phase 2 of my journey.

I believe that initially (perhaps the first 3-6 weeks) it is vitally important for me to have the things that comfort me (in my liquids), including dairy, because I believe that too much deprivation, too soon, will do nothing except to act as a deterrent.

In line with this, I also believe that cutting too many calories too fast, is not a particularly healthy thing. I know from biology that we are genetically predisposed to only losing 2 pounds a week. Any more then that is a type of starvation, which isn't terribly healthy, either (and sets us up for all sorts of other complications, down the road). Of course, this depends on how healthy one is, to start with, and how much extra weight one has.

For me, 2 pounds a week, is what I can manage, (physically and/or mentally) from where I am at, right now.

As the weather changes and the days grow longer, I believe that I will be able to wean away from pulps, sweeteners, and dairy, and thereby switch to all juices, broths and teas. For however long it feels good. How's that for open ended?

As for supplements. Yes, I do take a slate of them. Especially in what I like to refer to, as phase one (the first 3-6 weeks). And I am going to add fish oil to the battery, shortly. What do I take? Here's a list:

Garden Of Life Raw Vitamin C, Garden of Life's Raw Vitamin B, Enzymedica Enzymes (ViraStop and SerraGold), Pure Encapsulations NAC (for my liver), Pure Encapsulations M/R/S (a mushroom formula), Young Living's ParaFree (which I take just because of all the essential oils in it and not because I am doing a parasite cleanse, but hey, it's a fringe benefit, just in case, right? lol), Liquid Vitamin D & E, and Renew LIfe's Power Cleanse 1 (which is mainly for the Vitamin A). I do need to do some research on finding a better Vitamin A source, as well as a source for Alpha-Lapoic acid, but all and all, I think I am hitting a home-run with most of these.

The real benefit of the essential oils is that the "awful-scaly-iron-on-my-sensitive-teeth-sensation", has pretty much abated. The other benefit from all these supplements is that they make me feel like I am helping support and sustain my body's mitochondria, thereby assisting my brain to relax and "get-with-the-program". Vastly important.

Well, many goals for the upcoming weeks and I will definitely be updating the blog at least every other day (another goal), as well as trying to get my website updated and renewed.

I can't say I feel great today, as I didn't sleep all that well, but I definitely feel better then I did last week at this time, and I am hoping that slow, gradual, improvement in my physical and mental energy, will soon appear. Here's to hoping!

Rara Avis signing out from The House of Found Goods.

re: The Struggle with Fasting.

Well, it was day 5 yesterday, and that old "crawling out of my skin" feeling came back, viciously, indeed.

I read about others accounts of their struggle with fasting, and it's helpful, but unfortunately, not helpful enough to prevent me from relapsing.

It doesn't even seem like the same struggle at times.

My struggles with the initial detox phase of fasting always seems to revolve around the psyche and not anything to do with physical discomfort, although I guess if you call mere hunger, physical discomfort, then there's some of that, too. It doesn't seem to be the overarching discomfort, though, in as much as my body isn't very demanding in that way, these days. In fact, when I DO eat, especially solids, I am more uncomfortable, then when I don't, so from a physical standpoint, it's actually a relief, in many ways, NOT to eat.

For me, it's much more of a psychic challenge, then it seems to be, for others. Right now, I am disabled physically, so I am unable to use the tool of exercise, as a venting tool, like I once would have, to flush the ghosts and demons out of my  head.

That only leaves creating (which is another tool that I found over the years, to help with distancing myself from myself, as it were), which I find I have very little interest in, when I am not eating very much.

So cheating by eating some sugar, finally, and allowing that my brain is needing something other then what it is getting, is just another way for me to realize how mentally addictive food has been for me, over the years. And it's also a wake-up call that I did not prepare adequately, on some level.

Right now, I am rather uncomfortable in my life, and I have personally created so many demands (what with the birds, the dog, and the chickens), on my time and energy, that it's almost impossible to stick with my plan. (Or, at least, it was, for the last week, anyway).

Which tells me that I didn't do a good enough job at preparing for the endeavor that is fasting. Which also tells me that I need to stop and re-evaluate what I could do, differently, this week, in order to succeed through the detox phase (without giving in to the sugar call), and thereby get to the other side of the hill. (A little bible metaphor here.........Job's repeated struggle up the hill......:)

I know that I did not do a sufficient job at creating a space to stretch. My kitchen (while it is somewhat cleaned up from the Farmers Market deluge of a month ago) is still quite a mess, and is not welcoming to having the pilates arc put on the floor (where I do my stretching routine).  The floor is filthy and needs mopping (which I don't have the energy to do), in order to avoid getting sticky residue on my exercise stuff.

I also know that I did not do a sufficient job at creating a space to meditate. (Which is another whole ball of wax that I am currently unable to repair.)

I felt dehydrated a lot, which tells me I did not drink enough of something. I am plenty bored with water, and tea, and miso broth, and I have no idea, short of spending a bunch of money, how to make something that I find entrancing enough to spend my waking hours of slogging up the hill, with.

We put ourselves on a strict budget this year, so even though I have begun to collect a regular disability check, it still isn't even enough to dig ourselves out of the overage damage that we incurred last year, when we weren't paying close attention.  That alone, is depressing enough to just despair over, endlessly.

Even though fasting does cost less then eating (I think), making vegetable broth is quite an endeavor and quite costly, despite the fact that we have many of the vegetables to start it with, in our cold-frame. Organic vegetables are costly and the time/energy to make it, is also an expenditure I don't seem to have, at the moment. Roasting dandelion coffee (although essential to have) is also another thing I did not do, this time, despite having plenty of root, in backstock. So today, I am drinking coffee (decaf) and having some dairy (cream) in it, just because it's something different I can do, to stop being so darn bored with all of it.

For me, apparently, one of the drawbacks to being successful on the fasting train, is boredom.

I read back on all this, and think about it, and realize that inertia is also a tremendous problem for me.

Whether boredom and inertia are types of depression or not, I'm not sure.

I do know that all I can do, is start again, and try to do better this week. So, once again, the plan is to:

Get up. Walk Dog. Take vitamins with vegetable juice. Tend Chickens. Feed Dog. Stretch. Eat pulp if hungry by then (usually yes). Read Homework/Research. Drink lots. Create. Drink lots. Meditate. Take drugs. Sleep. Get up. Do it all again.

Sounds so simple, doesn't it? (Actually, when I re-read it, it sounds rather boring. ho-hum.)

I have to say that in many ways, I've (we've) created a very simple life-style for ourselves, that many, many, many people, would envy, highly. And yet, and yet, it still isn't simple enough to lend itself to enabling the kind of retreat that I find necessary (from a psychic standpoint) to enable me to be successful at fasting. I feel like I should add something, anything, that would stimulate me a bit more. But I am hampered by this disability, and have no idea what that would be, exactly. sigh.

What a struggle it is, finding new (and different) ways, to stimulate my mind so that it doesn't miss the oral gratification of chomping on something (whether that be food, or finger-nails, or nuts, or candy). That urge to just chew is incredibly strong in me. I find it impossible to believe it is a form of pica, or lack of nutrition, since I take an enormous amount of supplements.

I am convinced that it is anxiety, pure and simple. What to do about it (so that I can be in control of it, instead of the other way around), is the thing I am not so sure of, since the usual tried-and-true strategies are no longer within my means to utilize.

Well, like Rich says, I need to follow the advice on one of the many inspiring refrigerator magnets I own: Fall Seven Times, Stand up Eight.

Something practical that I CAN do for myself, is to obtain a light therapy box (even though it is most definitely NOT in our new budget), and thereby, increase the amount of daylight I am receiving (and unable to avail myself of, at present).  It is definitely dark here, and for sure, that is NOT helping.

I have also made an appointment to see a new therapist, whose specialty is PTSD and who does EMDR work, which I am hoping, will likely help, tremendously. The fact that she is only one town away is a positive improvement, since the one I was seeing, was 45 minutes away (which meant a minimum 3 hour trip), and was a type of self-sabotage more then it was helpful.

I am also hoping that since I have cut my calories pretty much in half, even eating only a bit of pulp, that the weight loss will continue (2 pounds last week).

But, I do need to qualify that and say that I need to figure out how to find the balance in not cutting calories so far that it leaves me too cold and exhausted to do the other stuff that needs doing, or leaves me feeling impotent and disinterested on a psychic level.

Hmmmm........lots of new challenges for the new week ahead.

Rara Avis signing out from The House of Found Goods.

The New Year.

Thursday, January 4, 2012.


Well, so far, so good. Day 3 and closing in on the real thing (liquid fasting, that is). 
I actually had my rapple sauce (mixed with yogurt), for dinner, and almost couldn't finish it, so my stomach is shrinking, pretty quickly, apparently. 


I haven't bitten my nails in 3 days, and have kept on track (despite the nasty cold turnabout), with exercise. Made it all the way to the top of the hill, today, and could have gone further, if Boo-Boo didn't keep getting poo-poo in his butt hair.........he's such a funny little critter.......he stops dead if he gets so much as a tiny twig in his foot hair.........and he's 30 pounds, so I AIN'T lugging him.......I keep telling him to shake his booty when he's done with the pooty-duty, but he NEVER listens, seems like......almost as bad trying to hike with a toddler...........lol. 


I also cleaned out my fridge today. :) Found all sorts of things I won't use, either because I don't like them, (in which case, they are being given away), or because I won't use them, while fasting, in which case they went upstairs in the back stock refrigerator (Rich's). It always strikes me as funny how much extra time I have, when not preparing food to eat. :)


Thursday, January 5, 2012.


Day four of my fast, and all is seemingly well, although it is morning and so, is too soon to tell, for sure.


I do feel the need to reiterate something a friend of mine said on FB (Facebook), and that is that fasting brings up so much emotional stuff, it's sometimes unreal and/or surreal. 


For me, the break from food is often a very welcome break (just for the "not having to prepare anything" aspect, alone), but also because it tends to test my resolve and commitment to wanting to heal on a spiritual as well as a physical plane. 


As hard as the physical withdrawal to food, is, it's nothing in comparison to the emotional and spiritual withdrawal that I end up feeling. 


I know from fasting before, successfully (once last January for a month, and once last July, for three weeks), that I CAN do it, which is something I've never had before. I'd always thought that my addiction to coffee and sweets was something I was stuck with, permanently, for the rest of my life.  


Being freed from that belief alone, made the other types of withdrawal less burdensome, but only in hindsight, (being 20/20, and all that). 


This will be my third "liquids-only" fast, and it shows every sign of also containing that first week, or even week-and-a-half bout, of heavy anxiety, right along with it. I know I can ride it out, though, (because of my other successful fasting), so I've decided that it's an important thing to do, again, and again, until I can come to terms with it.  


It's something from another life, that anxiety. From where I am at right now, I believe it's a permanently embedded fear in my psychosis about where the next meal may come from. As a youngest child of six, in a very dysfunctional, very poor, (on all levels), fend-for-self environment, a box of cereal without cockroaches in it, was a miracle I don't think I ever experienced. 


From my other fasts, though, I found that the addiction to coffee and sweets, was largely just that; an unrealistic fear. I have reason to hope that this one is not permanent, either, and will ease. Whether or not it will ease with this latest fast, remains to be seen. 


I have reason (and experience, now, under my belt), to believe that eventually, it will, as the transition window of undesirable detox symptoms does seem to lessen a bit, each time. One of the many reasons to continue fasting is to test this theory out. Wouldn't it be something if all of our emotional and spiritual demons could merely be exorcised by removing oneself from the intake of food stuffs? 


The saints and prophets certainly thought as much, here is a quote that I have on my refrigerator:

Fasting is the most important of the acts of devotion. Keep yourself hungry, because an empty stomach is a source of wisdom. Prophets and saints have always gained their strength from fasting, but it must be done in degrees. Nothing helps an ascetic reach his goal faster than fasting, nor wins greater favor in God's eye's. It is one of the keys to the treasures of wisdom. Sayyid Burhaneddin.

I believe one of my friends on FB (Facebook) posted this awhile ago. It struck me as profound and accurate, so I keep it handy as a reminder that as hard as it is, I am not alone in the endeavor. This month, on FB, there are actually at least 4 (perhaps 5) of us, on the fasting train. This is also enormously helpful. There truly is strength in numbers, even if they are only virtual contacts. I don't think it would be quite so easy without knowing of them. :)

Did I just say easy? Good lord, fasting is anything but easy. And yet, and yet, it really IS easy, in some ways. The simplicity of it is freeing, but the getting there, to the simplicity, is difficult, indeed, beset as we are with all of the complex things that make us up, as humans.

Which brings me to the thought of our very complex human lives. I believe many of those complexities are created because we have such complex brains, and while it's fascinating indeed, the human brain, it tends to hide itself, creating an intense internal drama, behind the face of the human, that has little or no bearing to the world outside itself.

I think fasting enables us to put this complex thinking machine, (our brain), on hold for a little while, and get a little more in touch with reality. At the same time, it sets us free to travel in the astral plane (spiritually) and briefly, ever so briefly, become in sync with the divine aspects of ourselves and enable us to truly know what it is, to be having a human experience as a spiritual being. Truly, I don't know of a drug on earth, that can enable us to reach this Zenith.

So, it certainly sounds easy, doesn't it? And yet, when I think about how hard it is to actually DO, I just have to shake my head in bemusement at the practical joke played on us, by our maker. I don't believe I've ever done anything that's harder, unless it was to walk away from a former life, leaving everything I cared about, behind, in order to keep it safe.

Which leads me to conclude that the human condition is a complete conundrum, that has left philosophers, scientists and most other professionals (who study these things), as deluded as the rest of us, despite all the initials they have earned to put after their names.

On that note, I am off to walk the dog, drink some vegetable juice, tend the chickens and possibly clean some more.

Rara Avis signing out from the House of Found Goods.