The Agony and The Ecstasy of The Study of Energy.

Since May of 2025, (when I first picked up my drum), I have had the rare opportunity and blessings, to be able to 'see' all sorts of things, but the most important thing, is: Energy.

Yep, I can see ya'lls faces right now.......WHATTTTT? YOU CAN STUDY ENERGY? WHO KNEW AND DIDN'T TELL US? WAHHHHAHA!

Well, I'm telling you now, so settle down and hang on for the ride, yea? lol

So, Energy......if you apply good journalism to the definition, you'd first have to look through the "who, what, when, why, and where" lens, so let's start there.

The "WHO" of Energy : Inexplicable (nobody knows except for the gods and nobody knows how to talk to them, anymore, either, so many humans will likely never know).

The "WHAT" of Energy: Also Inexplicable. (there are so many different kinds of energy that even Einstein could not come up with a math formula for them all).

The "WHEN" of Energy: Only scientific definition is the Big Bang, which was never very satisfactory to me, because it felt so.......idk.......lacking somehow.

The "WHY" of Energy: Again, the only explanation available, not very satisfactory to moi.

The "WHERE" of Energy : AHHHHHH, THIS, THIS is where the fun really begins........Yezz, indeedy.

So WHERE is Energy? : Everywhere.

Is it simple to see? : Yes.

Can anybody see it : Yes. (It IS simple to see, once you train your eyes and your brain, sufficiently).

Is the work involved in doing this, easy? : Nopey. It's taken ME 65 years.

So, let's skip to the chase and examine how I did it. And please remember, that I am a NOBODY from NOWHERE, so if I can do it, you can, too.

IT WAS COMPLETELY ACCIDENTAL and all happened because I picked up a drum.

WHOOPSY......and.......OH, MY GODDESS.

I would be in ecstasy if I just picked up my drum and wandered all around the world gathering up "Peace" and "Goddess" chants, from all the different religions and forming a universal "drumming for peace march", along the way. That's how much my drum has inspired me......not entirely sure my body could really do it since it's been quite compromised*, but man, doesn't that sound just like a divine quest?

*I just tried a "dancing for peace" weekend and it tuckered me out completely and I only danced for a single hour on the two consecutive days........eesh.

I am clearly not embracing the Crone as well as I'd hoped. ugh. Well, that may yet happen, who knows? The goddess doesn't seem to care either way I go, so I suppose that says something......

So, in getting back to the study of energy: I can't tell you any of the above, except for maybe the "what".

Energy IS, on the whole: Completely Inexplicable.

It is divine, bewildering, intensely beautiful, enriching, overwhelming, ecstasy inducing, trance inducing, colorful whirls of interwoven, playful, mischievous, imps of threads who do not much care for any kind of order humans might want to impose upon it.

In short : It's utter CHAOS.

But Chaos with its own type of order, once you get comfortable with it. I am reminded of all the folks I have known who have said this very thing: "It's not what you think". It is, in fact, a place where thinking is not all that welcome, actually.

The ONLY way I have ever gotten there, besides accidentally, was to prove to the Goddess that I revere her and would NEVER do anything in her realm to cause problems and that I merely desire to observe and learn. When I picked up my drum and learned some chants, she granted me passage.

Going back to the WHY: I have been singing my whole life, whenever I could, despite being tone deaf, so I'm 100% sure that helped. Example: you know you have to sing the Goddess Kali chant ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT TIMES, to invoke her protection? There you go. I am quite sure I have sung and/or chanted, wayyyyy more then 108 times to any and every god. lol. My life is proof incarnate that Singing and making music is NEVER wrong for humans, IN ANY WAY.

It was Jimi Hendrix, I believe, who said: "If there's anything to be changed in this world, it can only be changed through music." I concur. I completely believe that it is our ONLY defense against great Evil. Historically, The African American slaves knew it, The Native American slaves here, knew it, The Mideast Nations know it, The South American countries know it, The Australians know it.

The ONLY other countries that have successfully censored music, are CHINA and NORTH KOREA. I am abashed to find out that while I have been spending the last 15 years, healing, America has joined them. That SCARES ME. No, actually, it TERRIFIES me more than anything else that has happened.

Even the fact that nobody has pushed back on police and sovereign immunity doesn't scare me as badly as municipalities outlawing music.

Going back to the "WHAT", now........the ONLY way to talk to ANY entity on a different plane of existence, is THROUGH music. TRADITION is another one, except that one of the TRADITIONS is MUSIC. Another one is CHANTING.

The American Government has shown repeatedly throughout history, that they are not shy about obliterating other cultures traditions. So, if you don't sing or play music, find a way to chant....whatever you can do to transform some energy in a good, healthy, enriching and soulful, way. (Buddha says we should always approach the world as beginners). Beginners make mistakes. Learn to Accept that in your journey and the Gods/Goddess, will rejoice, right along with you.

Musicians and politicians and celebrities will project unto you (and even think this, themselves), that they are divine beings because they have learned to manipulate the power of their chosen craft, ("absolute power corrupts absolutely", don't ya' know?) and have allowed the power of adoration (from money being thrown at their feet) to make them think they are more powerful than they actually are.

Do not believe them. They are merely catalysts for keeping the "soft-arts" alive, on behalf of the gods and goddesses. We are also acting as catalysts when we give them our hard-earned currency. It's okay, albeit completely unbalanced.

Because these folks will most likely NEVER get to talk to a god or a goddess; they are tripped up by the power they have been given and use it unwisely (from a place of great EGO). "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility". Thinking that they are entitled to have this enormous gift, without ANY ensuing responsibility, to their fans, is EGO.

What I have learned from observing energy: MOST other entities (who live in other dimensions), prefer ANY sound EXCEPT for the very EGO-CENTRIC Anglo-Saxon habit of perpetually grating the consonants and syllables of the English language. It sounds obnoxious to the Gods and they perpetually remind me of this*.

* Ego's Mirage

In walls of bravado, I stand so tall, But deep down inside, I could crumble and fall. These echoes of grandeur, they shimmer and gloss, Yet brittle and hollow, they speak of my loss. With each boastful claim, I fortify fears, A fortress of pride, built from laughter and tears. So let me be gentle, let shadows take flight, For true strength is found in embracing the light. (Unknown).

So, in closing, I leave you today with this advice:

Start the process of getting to know yourself, very, very, intimately. (Pema Chodron: "Just start where you are"). I have been channeling light without realizing it, for the past couple of decades.

Find a way to let go of things that are hurting you, by doing something every single day, that honors and cares for your highest good, while at the same time, not hurting anyone else. (Dalai Lama; "If you can't help someone, at least don't hurt them").

Embrace any spark of divinity your subconscious or consciousness is trying to show you, by learning to listen very, very, carefully, to your intuition. (The ONLY thing we have that nobody else can take away.)

Tell yourself every day: "I am the ONLY one who can do the work that needs doing, on myself. I start today, right now, right where I am". I have HAD to do this, many, many, many times.

If you've EVER even dreamed slightly, of becoming a musician, take an overused and basically, stollen*, but wildly successful caption, from Nike: "Just do it".

*Yea, along with washable fitted velcro diapers, I was incidental in launching these ideas, also unknowingly at the time.......believe it or not.

I can't guarantee you any attention from the Goddess, (prolly not for years) but I can guarantee you will be better today, than you were, yesterday. And you can be even better tomorrow. (Buddha: "Just do the next best thing and keep doing that, eventually, you will see".)

The one major teaching of the Buddha, when asked how he got so wise: "I woke up".