The New Year.

Thursday, January 4, 2012.


Well, so far, so good. Day 3 and closing in on the real thing (liquid fasting, that is). 
I actually had my rapple sauce (mixed with yogurt), for dinner, and almost couldn't finish it, so my stomach is shrinking, pretty quickly, apparently. 


I haven't bitten my nails in 3 days, and have kept on track (despite the nasty cold turnabout), with exercise. Made it all the way to the top of the hill, today, and could have gone further, if Boo-Boo didn't keep getting poo-poo in his butt hair.........he's such a funny little critter.......he stops dead if he gets so much as a tiny twig in his foot hair.........and he's 30 pounds, so I AIN'T lugging him.......I keep telling him to shake his booty when he's done with the pooty-duty, but he NEVER listens, seems like......almost as bad trying to hike with a toddler...........lol. 


I also cleaned out my fridge today. :) Found all sorts of things I won't use, either because I don't like them, (in which case, they are being given away), or because I won't use them, while fasting, in which case they went upstairs in the back stock refrigerator (Rich's). It always strikes me as funny how much extra time I have, when not preparing food to eat. :)


Thursday, January 5, 2012.


Day four of my fast, and all is seemingly well, although it is morning and so, is too soon to tell, for sure.


I do feel the need to reiterate something a friend of mine said on FB (Facebook), and that is that fasting brings up so much emotional stuff, it's sometimes unreal and/or surreal. 


For me, the break from food is often a very welcome break (just for the "not having to prepare anything" aspect, alone), but also because it tends to test my resolve and commitment to wanting to heal on a spiritual as well as a physical plane. 


As hard as the physical withdrawal to food, is, it's nothing in comparison to the emotional and spiritual withdrawal that I end up feeling. 


I know from fasting before, successfully (once last January for a month, and once last July, for three weeks), that I CAN do it, which is something I've never had before. I'd always thought that my addiction to coffee and sweets was something I was stuck with, permanently, for the rest of my life.  


Being freed from that belief alone, made the other types of withdrawal less burdensome, but only in hindsight, (being 20/20, and all that). 


This will be my third "liquids-only" fast, and it shows every sign of also containing that first week, or even week-and-a-half bout, of heavy anxiety, right along with it. I know I can ride it out, though, (because of my other successful fasting), so I've decided that it's an important thing to do, again, and again, until I can come to terms with it.  


It's something from another life, that anxiety. From where I am at right now, I believe it's a permanently embedded fear in my psychosis about where the next meal may come from. As a youngest child of six, in a very dysfunctional, very poor, (on all levels), fend-for-self environment, a box of cereal without cockroaches in it, was a miracle I don't think I ever experienced. 


From my other fasts, though, I found that the addiction to coffee and sweets, was largely just that; an unrealistic fear. I have reason to hope that this one is not permanent, either, and will ease. Whether or not it will ease with this latest fast, remains to be seen. 


I have reason (and experience, now, under my belt), to believe that eventually, it will, as the transition window of undesirable detox symptoms does seem to lessen a bit, each time. One of the many reasons to continue fasting is to test this theory out. Wouldn't it be something if all of our emotional and spiritual demons could merely be exorcised by removing oneself from the intake of food stuffs? 


The saints and prophets certainly thought as much, here is a quote that I have on my refrigerator:

Fasting is the most important of the acts of devotion. Keep yourself hungry, because an empty stomach is a source of wisdom. Prophets and saints have always gained their strength from fasting, but it must be done in degrees. Nothing helps an ascetic reach his goal faster than fasting, nor wins greater favor in God's eye's. It is one of the keys to the treasures of wisdom. Sayyid Burhaneddin.

I believe one of my friends on FB (Facebook) posted this awhile ago. It struck me as profound and accurate, so I keep it handy as a reminder that as hard as it is, I am not alone in the endeavor. This month, on FB, there are actually at least 4 (perhaps 5) of us, on the fasting train. This is also enormously helpful. There truly is strength in numbers, even if they are only virtual contacts. I don't think it would be quite so easy without knowing of them. :)

Did I just say easy? Good lord, fasting is anything but easy. And yet, and yet, it really IS easy, in some ways. The simplicity of it is freeing, but the getting there, to the simplicity, is difficult, indeed, beset as we are with all of the complex things that make us up, as humans.

Which brings me to the thought of our very complex human lives. I believe many of those complexities are created because we have such complex brains, and while it's fascinating indeed, the human brain, it tends to hide itself, creating an intense internal drama, behind the face of the human, that has little or no bearing to the world outside itself.

I think fasting enables us to put this complex thinking machine, (our brain), on hold for a little while, and get a little more in touch with reality. At the same time, it sets us free to travel in the astral plane (spiritually) and briefly, ever so briefly, become in sync with the divine aspects of ourselves and enable us to truly know what it is, to be having a human experience as a spiritual being. Truly, I don't know of a drug on earth, that can enable us to reach this Zenith.

So, it certainly sounds easy, doesn't it? And yet, when I think about how hard it is to actually DO, I just have to shake my head in bemusement at the practical joke played on us, by our maker. I don't believe I've ever done anything that's harder, unless it was to walk away from a former life, leaving everything I cared about, behind, in order to keep it safe.

Which leads me to conclude that the human condition is a complete conundrum, that has left philosophers, scientists and most other professionals (who study these things), as deluded as the rest of us, despite all the initials they have earned to put after their names.

On that note, I am off to walk the dog, drink some vegetable juice, tend the chickens and possibly clean some more.

Rara Avis signing out from the House of Found Goods.

And so this is Christmas.........

Well, it isn't like Christmas's past, that's for sure.

It is, however, in many ways, much, much, better then many of them have ever been.

Even despite some relationship and medical upset, it's still been a year full of improvements. I started to get some feeling back in my severed nerves, and actually was able to generate some sales for my little non-bakery business.

Weather-wise, it looks like we are just going to squeak into a white christmas, as the temp is hovering around 30, and has been for the last couple of nights. People have been joking all around about how they may have to mow their lawns on Christmas Day. Pretty Peculiar. Funny, though.

For the past couple of days, I have been agonizing needlessly about something that I had stuffed into a box, many years ago, in the attics of my life, only to find out that letting go of trying to keep the lid on the box, was actually fairly liberating and renewing.

It's funny how we make things so complicated as people.

I found out years ago, in my own evolvement, that we can mind f**k ourselves like nobody else. Which is to say that I have not only danced with the devil quite a few times; I have, in fact, let the devil in the room and actually mated with it, in the form of the beast of burden that was my familial legacy. Which is how and why I can say that it's truly pitiful, when it comes right down to it, how long we will stay in situations that are not good for us. I spent my whole childhood in some sort of weird purgatory. When I think of that past life, I get the picture of Al Pacino in the movie: The Devils Advocate, walking towards the guy he was about to suck dry, rubbing his hands together, saying, "....why, a little bloodletting, a little fire setting, a little soul raping, nothing is too depraved for my legion of followers,  buck up, my son, it's gonna' be a hell of a ride". Truly, it took me years to figure out how wrong and hinky that was. As Mary (the main character in the TV series, In Plain Sight,) would say......I hate hinky.

I forgave myself some time ago, for being an innocent child without any power to deflect most of it, but recent events have brought it back and forced me to open a box that I had forever thought closed. It wasn't as painful as it could have been, actually. Which doesn't mean the box is going to stay open. Some things should never be allowed to see the light of day, and that particular  box is one of them. It just made me realize a bunch of stuff about love, and how awfully tweaked most versions of it, are.

Which leads me right back to the beginning of this diatribe, i.e. the complications that we make for ourselves. I had to unwind at least a million strings of ribbon, just to get to the darn thing, then when I dug it out, I realized that the only reason I hadn't dug it out sooner, was because I was too nervous and frightened to deal with it. The first time I opened it, it almost destroyed me. I spent at least half a decade drinking, drugging and essentially throwing myself on the mercy of the world (which, actually, was tons nicer then the non-existent mercy of my family). The fear of the first encounter with the thing had not only wound the box up in knots, but my spirit, as well. It felt good to open the thing, clear the dust out of it, and repack it a little neater, before putting it away this time.

I don't think I could have managed if it hadn't been for Rich, being there, right by my side.

I thought for a long time, that the secrets in that box were so bloody, ugly, dirty and surreal, that they really shouldn't EVER see the light of day, not EVER. They caused so much destruction when they were put in there, the first time, that it simply wasn't safe to let them out. I really believed this. I believed that nobody would believe it, as it was like a very bad Alfred Hitchcock movie. I believed that those terrible and heinous trust violations that were perpetrated on a young, idealistic, and innocent girl, with the only commodity that anybody wanted, were much too tawdry and menial to be real. I never was entirely sure if things had happened the way I remembered, or the way I had been told they had happened. I realized after opening the box, that it didn't actually matter whether I ever know the entire truth about any of it. I don't want to know, actually. No matter which version was the "right" version, it was a long time ago, and so much water under the bridge.

I've sought the truth out a lot in my life, and while I believe it's true that "the truth will set you free", it will, but not before it carves your heart up into a gazillion maggot infested pieces that are used for so much soccer, purgatory style. Most of us cannot bear it. I did bear it, because I had to, but I don't believe that other people we care about, should have to.

I did realize though, upon repacking the box, that the events that created a necessity for that box in the first place, had colored my entire life. They created a great belief in conspiracy in me. They created a significant and lengthy distrust of all things "hidden", and they fractured and scattered my spiritual energy for a very long time. I also realized that the many times I've exhibited severe rage and frustration, it was because I couldn't get the shit back in that box, as it was just much too full. So, of course, I made sure to  put the box away, back in the attics of my life, a little neater this time, hopefully.

And I realize that I think I know what love is, now. Real love. Not the kind I grew up with. And not the false kind with all the bells and whistles (otherwise known as lust, that is really merely the devil having fun at our expense). Rich has shown me that love isn't any of those things, but is, rather, a rock-steady and no-matter what dirty awful secret you share with me, I will honor it, and keep it safe, kind of love. Which, actually, is the only reason I could pack the box up a little more carefully this time, and put it in a safer place, where the contents won't be wantonly disrupted by the whims of fate.

I don't know what I did to deserve this kind of love, but I am grateful, oh, so very grateful to finally have found my "home" and good friends and a kind of peaceful contentment that I didn't ever expect to find. I am so very grateful, and so........I think to myself, as I sit here waiting for the snow to fall..........and so......... this is Christmas.

Blessings to all and may you all find your own hidden treasures in the attics of your lives. :)

Re: A Cleansing Storm

I decided today to try and ignore the hype surrounding Irene and just post what it feels like to me, personally.

I haven't slept well this week, but for once, it's because of the weather, and for once, also, it's a very good thing.

I woke up from a sound sleep where I was having a very liberating and transformational dream, to hear the rain coming down.

For me, it's a type of very soothing rain, and if I do try and actively ignore the hype, it's also a very clearing rain. There is something in the air, that makes it just smell, well, heavenly, and along with that, it's clear that it's incredibly cleansing, as well. I can't explain what I mean by this, but I suspect that when people try and "bottle" rain into some type of perfume, this is the smell they are aiming for. :)

For some reason, this kind of rain also makes me stop and take a step back, (which is another very good thing) and reflect on the ways in which I have lived my life, thus far.

In that way, I guess you could say it's also a provocative kind of rain.

We have not had a storm like this for some time, in the East, and we are expected to get severe wind as well as high amounts of water and maybe even some power outages. It's funny, because as a friend of mine and I were talking about it on FB, it made me realize that I have spent my entire adult life, trying to be less reactionary, and now; just when I wasn't looking, over-reacting to everything has suddenly become quite fashionable.

I have no idea what that portends, especially, except that I guess if you live for half a century, you pretty much see everything.

I know what I've seen for the last decade, over and over, is that: "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

Our society seems to be, now more then ever, in almost constant crisis mode, and if we don't have an internal  (i.e., personal) crisis, to aim our psychic energy at, then we're driven to focus on an external one. It's as if we are stuck, as a society, in permanent adolescence mode..........drama, drama, drama.

As far as I can tell, mobile phones and the internet, have just made this ever so much worse and actually easier to do, thereby enabling us to stay "stuck" as kids.

What ever happened to: "Yup, we're gonna' get the side shoots of that hurricane, so, um, probably ought to fill up some bottles of water, dig out some board games and find some candles."?

In another ten years, will anyone even remember what a board game is, do you think?

The other thing that I was reflecting on was the fact that with the advent of the first grandson, it's made me stop and ponder what kind of legacy that child is likely to have. I often feel very sad for not having been the supporting and encouraging and loving kind of parent I wish I could have been, to his mother. And so, I pray that my ineptness as a parent won't carry on, (naturally), but the deeper issue is, of course, what kind of world that child can expect to inherit, from us, the supposed stewards of the earth.

I was very pleased when I got a picture from my grandchild's dad, with me and the little bloke, and I had on my "Plant Trees" t-shirt. We also had an earthquake on the day he was brought into the world, and now, on his fifth day on earth, we are getting the fallout from Hurricane Irene. I do try hard not to project, but if there's an omen there, then I pray that the legacy I leave is one of earth-stewardship, and not a legacy of bad parenting. Which, actually, I think, is pretty likely, as both his parents are smart, funny, capable, and loving. Phew. Not sure how that happened, but I am very grateful. Kids are so incredibly resilient..........thank the Goddess.

This whole grandparent thing has got me thinking of my relationship with my own mother (of course), and how very awful it was. Too much negativity to go into here, of course, but the one thing I know to be true, is that I had no respect, and little actual child/love for my mother. Rather, our relationship was based on the fact that she was 3 years old, emotionally, psychically, and in every other pertinent way; so  our bond was one of caretaker, (me) and recipient, (her). Not very healthy, but as it turns out, not very unusual, either.

It took me a very long time to forgive her for what I viewed was, on her part, some type of terrible malfeasance as a parent. I spent a big part  of my young adulthood, trying to understand it, and then the rest of my adulthood, trying to rectify the ways in which it affected my developing personality. It's only been the past year (and all my struggles with PTSD stemming from a surgery I had last fall), that I felt like I was actually starting to grow up and away from all that early tumult.

Goodness, here I am, half a century old, and just now beginning to grow out of my own adolescence.

How very strange, but delightful, too, to feel major movement towards something, rather then, tearing away from something.

Part of that has been due to Rich, being supportive and caring, and for the most part, non-judgmental, about my personal struggles in letting go of relationships which don't allow me to grow in a healthy manner.

The other, bigger part, though, has been that he gave me a safe place (unconditionally), to reestablish my unique and indescribably individual, relationship, to Gaia. Or Mother Earth. Or the Goddess. Or the He/She. Whatever name you choose will surely work, I doubt she or he, minds. :)

Even though I never actually had a real mother, (at least not in the biological sense, i.e., one that comforted me in times of high stress, was there for me with a helping hand, etc. etc.), it has dawned on me in the past decade, that I did always have Gaia.

In some ways, it seems she was just waiting there for me to acknowledge her, and realize that a comforting bosom does not have to always be in the physical form, but can also be one of spiritual succor and therefore, perhaps, maybe even better, in some ways.

Of course, there are still times when I get angry, at the injustice of not ever having had, a "real" mother. One that would hold my hand when I was frightened, and reassure me that all would be well. One that would treasure me, beyond all things, and make me their only priority. One that would see me, truly, and be there for me in a way that would bring out all of the best aspects of my personality.

Yea. I pretty much think this is what we all want, deep down. But truly, now, with a half-century under my belt, I wonder how many of us actually get this? I would say that it is most likely the exception, rather then the rule. Doesn't make it easier to accept, but certainly makes it easier to understand, and forgive.

Because when I really step back and reflect, I realize that Gaia has done all this for me, and perhaps more.

Because with my strongly individual personality, I wonder that even if I had had a parent like this, if I wouldn't just have felt sort of stifled and smothered?

And, truly, when all is said and done, my mother, who had very little good parenting (and perhaps, much abuse) of her own, did try her best. I can't even imagine what it must have been like, to have so few skills as a socialized and functional human being, trying to raise six children in a manner where they all felt loved unconditionally. Impossible. And so, unrealistic to even have hoped for. Of course, as a child, you don't know this, you just want a mother, and as a child, you actually have a right to expect one.

But as an adult, now, with a fully established relationship with my true mother, it has dawned on me that it is time (perhaps past time) to put away childish things and get on with getting on. Hence the forgiveness part. So, it didn't happen for me in the way I expected. Big deal. Time to move on.

And the truth is: Gaia has done this for me, in oh so very many ways. She's taught me so very much about myself. About my wishes, hopes, dreams, expectations, and desires. She's taught me to be more positive. less negative; more forgiving, less judgmental; more adventurous, less frightened; more generous, less grasping; more hopeful, less sad.

And last, but not least, Gaia has always just, well, been there. Like a true parent.

Whenever I have been frightened, angry, scared, or lost and alone, I only ever had to stick my hands in the dirt, and get digging, and in just a short amount of time, feeling better. Or putting my walking boots on, and just putting one foot in front of the other, crying and stumbling my way up the mountainside.

Funny, I always felt embarrassed to be seen in public, crying, but never cared if anyone in the woods saw me doing so.

The mountain always just took my tears and transformed them, because the view from up top, is always so very different from that down below.

How could anyone ever reach the top of a mountain and not be completely awed by the view, and hence, able to stop crying long enough to take it all in and realize that everything that we think (as the most fallible of humans) is really, finally, and most simply, a matter of perspective?

Gaia has shown me this, time and time again, and oh, really, so much more.

More often then not, she has been the parent I wanted. The parent I needed. The parent I longed for, in my times of deepest distress, and did not even know what it was that I so achingly longed for.

Perhaps, just perhaps, I have allowed myself to realize that on some level, it may have been very good for me to have been born into that hellish chaos.

It did force me to look elsewhere for nourishment.

And even though I had to look pretty hard, and stumble around for many moons, I do, for the most part, feel I have landed on my feet.

Or rather, in the very bounteous and enriching, lap, of the most beautiful, loving, kind, patient, generous and understanding parent, in the universe. Mother Earth. It's taken some serious, long, hard work. That's true. But, if there's one legacy I could leave for my grandchild, I think it would be this one.

And so, with that in mind, I offer up this prayer..............That he have a longstanding and most loving relationship, with all things wild and free. That Gaia watches over him, even when he is not aware of it. That he always feels treasured, and beloved. That he always feels at home, in the dirt. That he always feels a deep kinship with the plant spirits. With the tree people. With the air and fire and rain folk. That he always knows, on some level, that he is not alone. That he knows what peace feels like. That when he falls, he always falls into the lap of his most loving mother, Gaia. Amen.

Good morning and blessings to all, as this incredibly cleansing rain washes away much of the bizarre energy that often surrounds us.

Signing out from RaraAvis at the House of Found Goods.

re: On Prayer, Passion & Providence.

Well, it's certainly been awhile, hasn't it? What can I say? It's high summer here in Vermont, and while we only have 1/3 acre of land, keeping it tilled and producing, takes up much of our spare time. If the sun's shining, we are outside! Of course, it's been pretty hit and miss, so even when it isn't, if something pressing like a chicken coop needs doing, then we do it anyway. We don't much like it, but we do it.

Which brings me to the providence piece of my little dispatch. Well, actually, several acts of providence really, but where to start?

I guess by saying how blessed we are. Sometimes, especially when it's been raining for several days straight, I can get in the blackest of moods and completely forget the good things in life.

I was just reminded the other night how much the Goddess does shine her light on us; when the Mulberry Tree in the backyard (which, due to its size, was only serving as food for squirrels, and providing unwanted shade), blew down in a wind. Luckily, we had decided to go to the library that evening and weren't out tinkering in the yard. And wonder of wonders, it completely missed everything important, in its fall to the ground. Really, it's sort of a miracle, and the first time in my life that I've ever seen something like this happen. After all, we have a very narrow lot, and I have lots of structures and wards and chickens and food plots, and well...........you name it. It did sort of bust off a branch from the best looking young pear tree and beat up the blueberry and day lilly patch pretty good, but that was only because we had to walk amongst them to get at the parts and pieces, for removal purposes. I also bandaged up the pear tree, and I guess we'll just pray for the best on that. Here's some photos of the incident.

As you can see from this photo, the limb just missed the arbor, the gazing ball, and the chicken coop!

This is my young little pear tree, (to the left), with my blue tape patch job. And Rich, finishing up the sawing job that I started yesterday, when I got all the small stuff off the top and stacked.

This is the view from the top of the yard, where it broke from the main section. It must have hit the birch tree which helped to soften the impact. (The birch is about in the very center of our lot, you can see the the white bucket in front of it.) So, yea, I'm real glad nobody was in the yard and I hope it didn't frighten the chicks too much. (Good thing they aren't laying, yet). The funny thing about this tree is that it was one I had slated to have the tree-guy cut, but was very worried that it was impossible to do, without losing all my precious structures and wards, and was thinking I would have to wait at least until winter. Well, I guess my hopes and prayers were more powerful then I'd thought. It's a good reminder, that sometimes, if we just put the intention out there, then get the heck out of the way, the Goddess, she WILL provide.

Well, so, the second piece of good luck this week, was that while I was strawberry picking with a friend, our little dog Fritz decided it would be a good idea to test his little ears and see if they would act as wings, kinda' like Dumbo. Rich didn't know exactly what he saw in the field next door, but he pretty much disappeared off the 14 foot tall deck, and ran after it, whatever it was. Good Grief. I swear he musta' been a cat in another life. Eats like a cat, plays like a cat, and now, he appears to have nine lives, like a cat. Lucky little dog. I am just grateful we don't live right on route 7, on account of when he does idiotic things like this, he's usually retrievable before he hits the main road. I was reminded of this tonight when I came upon a young girl crying up on Court St. on account of her cat just got hit by a car. Poor thing. At least Fritz was able to practice his therapy giving a bit, and I think she felt better after he licked her face a thousand times and climbed in her lap. Another good reminder; this time of the "there but for the grace of god, go I", variety.

The next thing I am grateful for, is the fact that I seem to be finding things that are helping my stomach. Food and diet has always been my passion, even when food seemed to be my enemy, so it's good that I'm finding the right keys to unlock whatever valve was stuck in my intestines. Well, yea, so I made a gallon of Master Cleanse (only with Honey vs. Maple Syrup), my signature Kool-Aid for Aadults, and some Rejuvelac from Quinoa. I also take 2 Nature's Secret Resveratrol Cleanse in the a.m., and 2 Oxy-Powder in the p.m., along with a bevy of supplements mid-day (2 homeopathic remedies, vitamin c, vitamin b, liver support, cranberry, & milk-thistle).  Here's my lineup of goodies in the Fridge.

It's funny how things work out, because one of the substances that is supposed to be good for immune system reactions is Resveratrol, (which seems to be the only redeeming chemical characteristic of Japanese Knotweed). Apparently, some plants turn this natural phenol into a phytoalexin, which helps them fight off bacteria and fungus infections. The only human study that's been done, however, has only shown a blood sugar lowering capacity, although animal studies have shown anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer capacity, and cardiovascular benefits. The sure thing is that it is a potent anti-oxidant. This particular mixture (that I am using) has a bunch of other beneficial substances in it, so yay for me.

The only other thing I can think of, that is a beneficial aspect of knotweed, is the fact that the bees absolutely love it and make from it, the most highly rated pollen in the world. That's good, as the neighboors (misspelling intentional), seem intent on letting the stuff grow back into an impenetrable stand. As my friend Patty noted; if you want a shrub type divider, you probably don't want to walk in it much, so the fact that it's impenetrable, doesn't appear to be an issue for them. At least, not for now. When they have to gain access to their well, in order to fix the water problem, before they can rebuild their garage, I suspect their perspective will change quite a lot. Seems like a win-win all-around, for us, anyway. And that's just about all I can say on that.

As for the other side of the property; the neighbors over there (to the south), also had their line surveyed (must be something in the air), only to find out that not only did I have the right to cut the trees I cut, (which they both were quite nasty about), but that part of their fence is on our side of the line.

Pretty darn funny, wouldn't ya' say? I say there ain't nothin' like bein' right once in awhile. :)

Where the heck do these people come from, anyway? I personally believe they are aliens, and we were just unfortunate enough to buy property in between the two sets of martians.

Ah, well, such is life, and good things abound. Even though we will now have access problems, treating the knotweed on the north side of the lot; turns out that we needn't have worried, as we found some landscape fabric that is guaranteed for 15 years, and we will be getting sawdust to cover it with, for free. And since Rich cut a lot of the mulberry tree into slices, and I'll have the guy who will be cutting the two maples do the same, we'll have plenty of litter to build the looping pathway with, and we won't have to ferry any of it in the wheelbarrow, up the 1000% grade! (Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but it sure feels like it some days............I can definitely feel one of my legs getting shorter then the other, as time goes on............:)

And one last act of providence (but certainly not the least of them), is that I seemed to have lost a smallish screen for sprouting my own seeds and grains, but upon walking the dog tonight, came upon a box of free stuff with the exact right size one in it (on the lawn of a church, no less). How strange and wonderful, is that?

Here's to providence, passion, and prayer. :)

Rara Avis signing off from the House of Found Goods. 

re: Our Government in a Nutshell & an Acronym for how we should eat.

The following quotes were taken from a book that is supposedly fiction, and written by Barry Eisler. I couldn't agree more with the things he projects in his book as a conversation between two people. It is the reason I don't believe in conspiracy theory. 

"Conspiracies are hidden. The oligarchy is right out in the open. It's just a collection of people in business, politics, the military, and the media who recognize their interests are better served by cooperation than they would be by competition. There aren't any secret handshakes. Most of the people who are part of the oligarchy don't even recognize it's existence. If they recognize it at all, they think of it as just a benevolent, informal establishment. They tell themselves it selflessly serves the country's interest rather then selfishly serving it's own."

"The establishment is huge now, more entrenched then ever. The Roosevelt and Truman expansions were ratified by Eisenhower, Kennedy's and Johnson's abuses were ratified by Nixon. Bush Jur.'s extraconstitutional moves have all been ratified by Obama. It's a ratchet effect. There hasn't been a federal law in the last sixty years that's done other than increase the government's power and influence, and the power and influence of the corporations that manage the government by extension. The leviathan only grows."

"You can't beat the oligarchy. You can't beat it because the oligarchy has already won. The establishment is like a virus that's taken over the organs of the host. Now it acts as a kind of life support system, and if you remove it, the patient it battens on will die.  Remember the scene in that movie Alien? Where the creature attaches itself to John Hurt's face, runs a tentacle down his throat, and puts him in a coma, but if they cut it off, it'll kill him? That's the oligarchy. The establishment is a creature whose first priority is ensuring that if you try to remove it, you'll wind up killing the host."

 "So, there's nothing that can be done."

"No, there is.........the only possible solution is to manage this fucked-up system from the inside." 

My observation here is that Taylor Caldwell (among others), wrote about this some 60 years ago, in her book: "The Devils' Advocate.

"The way this system operates is based on two Japanese concepts. Honne is the real truth. Tatemae is the facade of truth. The public needs Tatemae or talismans, things like airport security, silly things like taking your shoes and belt off and leaving your six-ounce tube of toothpaste at home. On a Honne level, those kind of 'security' measures are laughable. On a Tatemae level, they convince people it's safe to fly, and the economy keeps humming along, safe and profitable for the politicians and the corporations they work for. If you are part of the Oligarchy, what's more important: that Americans be safe, or that they feel safe?"

"Or what matters more: convicting a guilty man, or having society believe the guilty have been convicted? One guilty man going free is irrelevant, as long as society believes the guilty have been punished. But if society loses that confidence, you get anarchy. And the oligarchy doesn't like anarchy."

My take on all of this: They say truth is stranger then fiction, but this came from a book that is supposedly fiction. I say it's probably closer to Honne then anything I've ever read. Our entire county is ruled by corporations, from the Economy, to the Military, to the Resources we are allowed to consume. This has been predicted over and over, by various sources, Taylor Caldwell merely one of them. I believe firmly now, that the only solution is anarchy. I never did before, and maybe it was because I had blinders on, as from the little bit of political history quoted, it's been far too late, for far too long, for anything else to have any effect whatsoever. 

I hope the Feds do hold back on Sending out SS checks in August. With 500,000 participants, marching on the white house, we will finally have the power we need to begin the change back towards a true republic, when the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, and the Federalist papers, weren't merely "artifacts of an ancient mythology".

Quotes all taken from the book: Inside Out; by Barry Eisler.

On another note: 

I happened to catch parts of a fund raiser on PBS with Dr. Fuhrman. The gist of it was the acronym: GOMB. This stands for the priority of how we should arrange our diets, not only for health, but to beat the things that threaten it, such as: cancer, heart disease, digestive issues, etc. etc.  

The Acronym stands for: Greens, Onions, Mushrooms, Beans/Berries, and Seeds. He was talking about how just eating 10 mg of mushrooms (1 tiny button 'shroom), and 10 mgs of onion, would reduce the chance of people developing cancer, by 84%. 

Not sure where he got his numbers, and didn't know about the 'shrooms, but knew that about the onions. 

Like the acronym! :)That, along with the idea that "Salad should be the main meal", makes for an easy and quick reminder for the refrigerator door!

I am also a firm believer in the idea that salad should always be the main meal. Can't afford to send PBS 150 bucks, but what he was saying made a lot of sense. Of course, it's mainly for the average Standard American Diet (SAD) consumer, of which I have not been one for many years, but still. 

It's soooooooo easy to fall off the wagon and forget how to eat right. My stomach has been so messed up, for so long, that I haven't been following the plan, which I know works, and which is how I used to eat, before my surgery and subsequent stomach issues. 

Well, so, it was a good reminder and since I have salvation by way of oxy-powder, I was encouraged to try and do it, today. we'll see what happens. :)

Signing out from Rara Avis at the House of Found Goods. :)

re: Why Vermonter's HATE "Flat-Landers".

Well, yea, so, I've been trying to fight Japanese Knotweed on our property, (as well as a piece of the neighbors property, which is actually where the mother-ship plant is), for anywhere from 5-7 years, now.

At first when the neighbors would come up from Connecticut for their annual one week odyssey to Vermont, they were like; "hey, thanks for taking care of that problem for us; everything looks great".

It seems like they think the problem is over, as they've now decided to put in a fence. They tell me that it will be a modest split rail fence, whatever that is.

What they don't know (and what we tried to make clear to them) is that the knotweed is farrrr from being decimated, and will just come zooming back, the minute they break holes in the ground, for the fence posts.

When we talked to them today, they were just like: "well, we'll just have to keep up with it" More of what they don't seem to realize is that "keeping up with it" is a full-time job, and unless they plan to retire, and spend their days either pulling it, or mowing it, that ain't-a-gonna happen. It just ain't.

Well, heck, maybe they are planning on retiring up here as it seems like he's actually thinking he's going to dig the mother-ship up, all by his lonesome (he came over and marked where I thought it was). This is actually pretty funny, since a strong young lad and myself, couldn't do it, which is why we started trying to smother it, and the neighbor is in his sixties, if he's a day. :)

The other problem impacting this situation, is that there WAS a fence there, once upon a time, and because that bank is full of springs, (water leaking from an old, unused, dug well, on THEIR side of the boundary line); the fence got first rotted by the standing water, then the knotweed got so big it knocked it over and  proceeded to creep across the boundary line, where it made a right nuisance of itself; turning into an impenetrable dark thicket. (This was before we owned the property). This stand was roughly 40 feet by 200 feet, and NOTHING else would grow there.

Well, with lots of hard work, and persistence, there are now wildflower gardens, trees, shrubs, and other landscaping, there, creating a lot of diversity for the birds, of which we have at least 4 different pairs, hatching chicks this spring.

Here's some photo's.

The surveyed boundary line is to the right of this garden. This garden was made from all the old rotten fence posts I found, from the original fence (which I think, WAS cedar.) Cough, Cough. (Pretty much everywhere you see bark-mulch, in these pictures, is where the knotweed was growing.)

Their surveyed line is to the left of this arbor, and when they install the fence, it will pretty much make our driveway almost unnavigable. Like I said, I think they must figure they will glom onto all the work we've done and establish their dominion, with a fence.

I almost died laughing this a.m. when they told me it was merely a pine fence (the cheapest one they could get, apparently), which I will run bets on, if anyone's interested. Between the standing water and the pressure of fourteen foot high knotweed; I give it 2-5 years, before THAT fence also disappears. With that kind of standing water, the only thing that would even last over 5 years, would be pressure treated cedar posts at least 6-10 inches around. Pine just ain't gonna' do nothin' except need constant care and upgrade. Like I said; I'll give that fence a year or two at the most, to stay standing. I'll also do odds on when the knotweed will turn back into a problem and obscure the fence, entirely.

That's the funny part, if you have any kind of sense of humor.

The sad part is going to be seeing all my pretty flowers engulfed by the knotweed. One season of not-treated growth, and it will be back, stronger then ever, trying to encroach.

The really maddening part is that with their fence in the way, now, we won't be able to treat our side of the line organically (like we have been doing, with cardboard and bark mulch). Instead, will have to use something like black plastic, or landscaping fabric, which are both a pain, and neither  of which are very environmentally friendly. (I will no longer be able to drive my truck up into my yard, and I am simply too old to hump entire loads of stuff up in bags and wheelbarrows).

The good part is that I DO have a vid-cam; so I've gone out and video-taped everything, and will do so, again, once they install the fence. That way, when the fence and pretty gardens disappear under the avalanching knotweed, I can stand there and say: Uh-Huh, and just shake my head (like I have seen many Vermonters do, when faced with the utmost stupidity of some people..........cough...........flat-landers, mainly).

I can also video-tape them moving the plant, when they do their excavation on their cellar-hole, which is just full of the stuff. Last time they carted it off-site, I didn't say anything, but this time, I fully intend to video-tape them doing so, and sending it to the ANR (Agency of Natural Resources), which levies a $1000.00 dollar fine, for each incidence.

Oh! maybe I forgot to say, but Japanese Knotweed is a Class B Invasive Plant in Vermont, and is required to be quarantined (which is WHY I was doing so much work trying to smother it). This means that it is highly illegal to move it from the site. The state's recommendation is that you pull any that doesn't get smothered, stack it up to dry, and then burn it in permit season, which is what we've been doing with the stuff.

Here is the pile of knotweed we pulled from just one season of not taking care of it:

(They ran out of bark mulch last fall, at the transfer station, and I had surgery, so couldn't treat it. This pile stands as tall as me (at 5'4").)

We did let the neighbors know about the laws concerning the plant in Vermont, and they acknowledged that they did receive my email on this issue. I am hoping that they also understand that they should expect a very big problem from us, if they now decide to use herbicides on the plant, when it bolts out of the fence-post holes, and tries to creep back unto our side of the line.

Not that it will do any good; but I fully intend to sue the shit out of them, when this happens. After all, this will render our entire stretch of property on that side of the line, unusable for organic gardening, which is what we've been doing there. It will definitely impact any future income we may have been able to derive from that part of our property. (This is significant, because this is one of the sunniest pieces of ground ON our property).

We also suggested they fix their abandoned dug well, thereby making the water problem go away, but like with the knotweed, I suspect our suggestions merely fell on deaf ears.

(this is a picture of my feet, up by their well. granted, it's been a very wet spring, however, this is the top of the hillside, NOT down by the lake.)

At any rate, did I mention that this is a prime example of just why Vermonters HATE flat-landers, (people from anywhere south of Vermont) and that this is most likely one of the reasons this term was derived?

Instead of just asking us what our take is on the problem, they assume (wrongly, as it stands), that the problem is resolved, because they obviously don't have a clue (I'm not sure they even know what the plant is, exactly, as she doesn't come out of the house when they are here and didn't seem to know that it was right by her back door), and simply WON'T allow themselves to be educated.

Well, so, they are obviously going to have to find out the hard way, and may the devil take 'em.

Mona Rae, signing out, from the House of Found Goods.

Today's Meanderings.

I think it may be official that we have now had the wettest spring on record. Criminy. Well, since it's the only time I feel compelled to actually sit down and write, I guess that's okay, and what can I do about it, anyway. What can anyone do about it, actually? It's kinda like insomnia, just embrace it and let it work for you. That's my Modus operandi, when it doesn't depress me, outright, anyway.

It occurred to me over the weekend, that as a culture, we are still having an awfully lot of trouble, putting ourselves in a place where we will stretch our understanding of the cosmos and embrace the fact that we could be wrong about everything. On that note, however, I feel pretty safe saying that I may be wrong about these upcoming assumptions and opinions, but I am going to go ahead and vent them, anyhow, on account of it's my blog, and that's partly why I set it up. (To vent when I am disturbed).

I have been taking some wild edible courses now, with the same school, and it occurred to me yesterday, that even the people setting themselves up as our leaders/guru's/elders, have some serious personal issues of fallibility. For instance, the place I go is at the end of a very long dirt road, and sits on what looks to be at least ten acres of land, at the top of a hill, with no electricity. That last part is at least ethical, when you do the environmental footprint numbers. Unfortunately, it also occurred to me, when I did the math and studied the situation thoroughly, that there are some serious and significant gaps in the awareness of the school leaders, concerning sustainability.

Environmental footprint numbers (at least the ones put out by Sierra Club, who probably are also fallible), say that there is only enough land for everyone on earth to have/use 1.3 acres of resources, each. There is enough, though, truly, to feed, clothe and house, every man, woman and child on earth, if only gluttony and self-interest could be set aside to embrace the concept of true sustainability (which is good news, if you think about it). What that means to me, when I translate it directly, and tangibly, is that nobody, and I mean nobody, could own more then 1.3 acres of land. Period. Or conversely, that means that anybody who does own substantial acreage, would have to be willing to give up that acreage, or at least feed 1.3  people (for free), for every acre they do own, by putting that acreage into food production.

This is a concept that most people (who have acreage), cannot even seem to grasp, let alone embrace.

Another issue that I encountered was that of wild-crafting. The owner/teacher of the school insisted that it was okay for people who know what they are doing, to go out and wild-harvest food, and then sell it to people who don't know how to do it. In my mind, there's some serious miscalculation here. If everyone all of a sudden learned, tomorrow, how to wildcraft food, even ethically, there would definitely NOT be enough for selling, only for eating. If we look at the old ways, (which is what I think the teachers at this school are trying to teach), then food provided by mother nature, was never 'sold' for profit. Never, not once in Native American history, or any other native population's history, was food considered a commodity. It was only when colonialism collided with indigenous tribes, that food became available for sale.

Moving right along with trying to get back to the earth, then, and avail ourselves of all the bounty that mother nature has available, and at the same time, trying to move back to the old ways, it does not then make sense to say that "some" can sell food that is free, just because they are somehow more knowledgeable and/or given the gift of largess. Like I said, if everyone-all-of-a sudden-like, went out into the woods and started wildcrafting, the same thing would happen, that happened with ginseng. Most of the food would be depleted within a generation.

That's NOT sustainable, not by any stretch of the imagination. So, once again, I am bumping up against what I know to be the case, (or at least, what the numbers show to be the case), and what people are saying/doing, that is in direct conflict with the facts. To give the benefit of the doubt, I think the teachers ARE trying to teach the walk, they just are having trouble balancing their need for income, with the concepts they are trying to instill in the students. Which just brings to mind, how very, very difficult it is, for most people to not only talk the walk, but to walk the walk, as well.

And hey, I could be wrong. :) (Which is what this vid. is about). If you can't get it to load without the little circle loading symbol; go right to the TED site and do a search for: On Being Wrong. Her name is Kathryn Shultz. This was posted on FB this a.m. by my friend Erica, and was so apropos, I decided to include it, here. Enjoy!